What are we afraid of losing? So many things in general, of course, but nothing in particular. I’ve always wondered what makes us so restless and jittery at times that a moment’s peace becomes impossible. You know what I am talking about, right?
For example, when you’re having a nice cup of coffee and suddenly there’s a compulsive urge to go out and get some groceries. Or, to flip open your laptop and check email. This is just crazy.
Mind makes a fool out of you, day after day, night after night.
With years of meditation and self inquiry some deep stuff did reveal itself to me. I’ll try and explain the trap that we have all been stuck in. In understanding this puzzle, we may be able to solve it, snap out of it and never be part of it again. So, let’s get started!
Whatever Frets You Is A Mirage, Definitely!
Life is a complex game. No second thoughts on that, right? Understanding this game is a prerequisite (a MUST) to achieve peace. And, you know what? With the mind in control, you will never be able to gain inner peace. Mind and peace can never coexist. That’s written in stone. I’ll explain why, stick with me.
See, mind is a broad term with tons of connotations and theories strung to it. Well, I will be honest. The thing is, I don’t know what we mean when we say the word “mind”. That’s because the word mind and the picture of the mind (and every other thing related to mind) was created by the mind itself in the first place, isn’t it?? Think about it.
So, for me “mind” doesn’t exist. There’s only illusions. These illusions drive us.
There are desires and fears that pull the strings and run the show. So, the first thing you need to do is STOP controlling the mind. It doesn’t exist. Instead, focus on the moment that you have.
With that, I don’t aim to sell any “stay in the present moment” baloney. Just do whatever you’re doing with pure love and enjoyment for the sake of doing it. No effort, just sip your coffee, relax and sip by sip finish it. You can do that, of course!
There’s absolutely no need to give way to thought of anything else in that moment. It’s that simple.
You May Be Lacking A Purpose
A while back, I realized that one of the basic things in life that we so conveniently do without is having a purpose. 80% of people live an ordinary life. A life without a purpose.
You become a puppet, a pawn for the mind when you have got no purpose or nothing BIG to look forward to in the future. I am not advocating daydreaming to become the US President (that’s still a great dream to dream anyway!).
What I am saying is that, even something as little as helping a family in need is a purpose. Recently, I started helping a woman who had been living a comfortable, upper-class life but all of a sudden lost her savings and investments when her husband had a paralysis attack. A stroke of bad luck! Then misery bit them worse when they got robbed too. Leaving them with nothing.
When this came into my notice, I started supporting them with the minimum I could. Then I started fretting about meeting my own expenses when God (or Universal Power or Cosmic Entity – whatever you call it) took my hand and my income rocketed out of nowhere!!
This happened and I set out to take care of another family. Similar story, different people. You see? This became a purpose for me. Helping people. So, because I have a purpose, my mind can’t upset me. Because I know “I have people who I matter to”.
Also, realizing that there are people that actually need desperate help saves me from self-pity.
The point is to have a purpose. Big, small, doesn’t matter. You need to be waking up every day with an energy that will drive you out of bed naturally. So, don’t waste time, and start thinking about how you can make a difference and be of service.
Stop Thinking and Get the Ball Rolling!
Thinking is the root of all problems. Not anxiety, not depression. Everything that we experience and feel is a product of our thinking. And, as far as I have analyzed and observed, thinking is ALWAYS a waste of energy. Because when you need to do something, you simply go ahead and do it. You don’t think about it.
Thinking drains your energy and leaves you in a state of dismay. Time wasted successfully! Nothing achieved!
So, for example, I’m writing this piece right now and a thought pops into my head, “I need to read up a bit on Digital Marketing…” Now, of course, I’m not going to do it right away because I’m writing at this moment. So, I let it pass.
But, if given heed, this thought has the power to distract you from the present moment and take you on an incapacitating roller coaster ride that will leave you hanging in the air.
On the other hand, if you let yourself immerse in the activity that you were in the middle of, without paying attention to passing thoughts, you would not only get the task done but also achieve a sense of inner presence and awareness.
The point is that the mind tricks you into believing that looking at that text message or scrolling down your Facebook feed is extremely important. That is a lie. Just keep looking at the daisy or red rose on your balcony (if that’s what you were doing) and let it mesmerize you as long as you want. You are NOT losing nothing. Believe me.
Writing Down Important Tasks Does Help
You don’t get done what matters. And, you brood over stuff that doesn’t matter.
The mind wants you to stay anxious – it wants you busy thinking about stuff that either doesn’t really matter. Or, if it does matter, the mind doesn’t want you to get it over with. Because when you finish a task, the mind has got nothing to feed on and it’ll die. Therefore, stalling/procrastinating is what you’ll find yourself suffering from.
One of the best ways to silence a Monkey Mind is to write down all of your day’s tasks on a piece of paper and post it on your refrigerator door. That’s what I got into this habit long ago and it has saved me plenty of unnecessary stress.
This worked so well for me that when I noticed my Mom getting worried about matters that didn’t really matter, I asked my mom to follow suit and write down ALL her thoughts.
Then I asked her to strike out the thoughts that she believed were a truckload of trash. She did and then what she was left with was things that actually needed to be done.
Within some time, we witnessed a beautiful change in mom’s temperament. She became more composed, calm, relaxed and at ease with herself. Got all the chores closed in time and still had time to enjoy moments of freedom and self time. That’s because she now had a clear picture of her day ahead and recognized and dismissed time-waster thoughts as they came up.
Mantra Meditation Gives You Focus
Believe it or not, meditation can totally rewire your brain if you know how to go with it and do the right kind of self questioning to complement it.
Of course, there are so many kinds of meditation that it has all become a joke now. And, these days it’s more like a circus than serious introspection or deep practice of dwelling on the self. But, I can guarantee if you start out with meditating every day, twice a day, once in the morning and once before going to bed at night, you will see yourself turn a new leaf slowly but surely.
The meditation that worked for me was mantra chanting. That’s because I am a Muslim and believe in Allah. So, it was easy for me to focus on the name of Allah and chant with patience and humility.
Chanting for 15 to 20 minutes is more than enough to center your mind and sharpen your focus. Then you can carry out your chores and continue with the routine much more aware.
However, I say that you choose your meditation with full liberty. Try out different techniques that might fascinate you and see what works best. With time, you will find the one and then stick to it. Staying with meditation and practicing with consistency is key.
Once you’re done (15 to 20 minutes) don’t touch it back. Get up and do whatever’s on your to-do list for the day. When there’s nothing to be done, sit back, take it easy and sink deep in the moment. Allow yourself to be. Trust me, NOTHING IS AT RISK!
.
(Authored by Zyad Haka)
